Quick Jokes

50 Quick Jokes That Would Bring Back Life To Any Occasion

3 minutes, 30 seconds Read

Often it happens that you are in the midst of a tense situation and are not sure how to ease off the issue. On such occasion, a quick joke can do the trick and we have a collection of some of them to share. Here are 50 quick jokes that would bring back life to any occasion and bring back the smiles.

1. What Kind Of Shoes Do Ninjas Wear? Sneakers.


2. I’ve Been Saying “Mucho” To All Of My Mexican Friends.it Means A Lot To Them.


3. Dry Erase Boards Are Remarkable.


4. How Do You Keep A Bagel From Getting Away?


5. What Did Jay-Z Call His Girlfriend Before They Got Married? Feyoncé.


6. Why Should The Number 288 Never Be Mentioned?


7. What Do You Call A Parade Of Rabbits Hopping Backwards?


8. A Farmer In The Field With His Cows Counted 196 Of Them, But When He Rounded Them Up He Had 200.


9. I Challenged The Number 1 To A Fight, But He Brought His Friends 3, 5, 7, And 9. The Odds Were Against Me.


10. How Do You Make Holy Water? Boil The Hell Out Of It.


11. PMS Should Just Be Called Ovary-Acting.


12. Why Do Dads Tell Dad Jokes? Because They Want To See Their Kids All Groan Up.


13. Why Doesn’t Any Man Need More Than One Rooster? A Cock A Dude’ll Do.


14. My Friend Recently Got Crushed By A Pile Of Books, But He’s Only Got His Shelf To Blame.


15. As The Judge Sentenced Me To Death, I Tried To Offer Him A High Five. But He Left Me Hanging.


16. Last Night I Almost Had A Threesome, I Only Needed Two More People!


17. What Do You Call A Big Pile Of Kittens? A Meowntain.


18. A Blind Man Walks Into A Bar. And A Table. And A Chair.


19. Why Does Snoop Dogg Carry An Umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.


20. Why Did The Chicken Go To The Séance?


21. You Want To Hear A Pizza Joke? Never Mind, It’s Pretty Cheesy.


22. Why Don’t Calculus Majors Throw House Parties?


23. Time Flies Like An Arrow, Fruit Flies Like Banana.


24. Did You Hear About The Claustrophobic Astronaut?


25. Just Went To An Emotional Wedding. Even The Cake Was In Tiers.


26. I Just Saw A Cashier Scan The Eyes Of A Rude Customer With Her Barcode Reader. The Look On His Face Was Priceless.


27. What Do You Call Dangerous Precipitation? A Rain Of Terror.


28. What Kind Of Exercise Do Lazy People Do?


29. Did You Hear About The Actor Who Fell Through The Floorboards?


30. What Did The Bald Man Exclaim When He Received A Comb For A Present?


31. I Wrote A Song About A Tortilla. Well Actually, It’s More Of A Wrap.


32. What Do You Call A Floating Dog? A Good Buoy.


33. Why Can’t You Hear A Pterodactyl Go To The Bathroom? Because The “P” Is Silent.


34. So This Guy With A Premature Ejaculation Problem Comes Out Of Nowhere.


35. What Does A Nosey Pepper Do? Get Jalapeño Business.


36. Atheism Is A Non-prophet Organization.


37. I Said, “Dad, Can You Tell Me What A Solar Eclipse Is?” He Replied, “No Sun.”


38. What Time Is It When You Have To Go To The Dentist? Tooth-Hurtie.


39. Why Can’t You Explain Puns To Kleptomaniacs?


40. You Kill Vegetarian Vampires With A Steak To The Heart.


41. How Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue? He Drank His Coffee Before It Was Cool.


42. How Does NASA Organize Their Company Parties? They Planet.


43. How Do You Drown A Hipster?


44. Why Don’t Developers Carry Guns? They Have Troubleshooting.


45. What’s The Best Part About Living In Switzerland? Not Sure, But The Flag Is A Big Plus.


46. Learn Sign Language, It’s Very Handy.


47. What Did The Buddhist Say To The Hot Dog Vendor?


48. Marketing Companies Should Use Chromosomes In Advertisements Because Sex Cells.


49. A Bear Walks Into A Bar And Says, “Give Me A Whiskey And … Cola.”


50. What Does A Nosy Pepper Do?


Source :THOUGHT CATALOG,  Laff Gaff, Rd.com

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