Depressing Jokes

40 Funny But Depressing Jokes That Are Just A Little Too Real

3 minutes, 38 seconds Read

Dark jokes are kind of really intriguing but if you are able to grasp them sure to bring out some crazy laughs. We searched Reddit for some such “depressing joke” and surely they would get your smile back on track.

1. Why Can’t Orphans Play Baseball?


They Don’t Know Where Home Is.


2. What Do You Get When You Cross A Rabbit And A Rottweiler?

Just The Rottweiler.


3. What’s The Difference Between Me And Cancer?

My Dad Didn’t Beat Cancer.


4. What’s One Thing You Would Do If You Waked Up Tomorrow As The Opposite Sex?


5. A Man Went Into A Library And Asked For A Book On How To Commit Suicide.

The Librarian Said: “fuck Off, You Won’t Bring It Back.”


6. My Grandmother Used To Tell Us A Joke.

She’d Say “knock Knock”, We’d Say “who’s There?”

Then She’d Say “i Can’t Remember”… And Start To Cry.


7. You Know You’re Ugly When You Get Handed The Camera Every Time They Make A Group Photo.


8. A Blind Woman Tells Her Boyfriend That She’s Seeing Someone.

It’s Either Really Terrible News Or Really Great News.


9. Can Orphans Eat At A Family Restaurant?


10. Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To Get To The Other Side…


(Suicide, For Those That Are Slow)


11. Why Does Helen Keller Hate Porcupines?

They’re Painful To Look At.


12. What Do You Call A Blonde In The Freezer?

Her Parents Named Her Cindy So We Should Probably Continue To Call Her That.

She Was Supposed To Graduate Tomorrow.


13. What Do Pink Floyd And Princess Diana Have In Common?

Their Last Big Hit Was The Wall.


14. What’s The Scariest Thing You’ve Ever Done?


15. What Did The Leper Say To The Prostitute?


Keep the tip.


16. Have You Ever Lied Or Done Something To Get Out Of Trouble?


17. I Was Going To Tell A Dead Baby Joke.

But I Decided To Abort.


18.  Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra.


19. I Wish The Grass In My Back Lawn Was Emo.

Then It Would Cut Itself.


20. Why Does Dr. Pepper Come In A Bottle?


His Wife Is Dead.


21.  I Bet My Friend $5 That He Would Drown In The Lake.… A Bittersweet Victory.


22. What’s Worse Than Finding A Worm In Your Apple?

The Holocaust.


23. About A Month Before He Died, My Uncle Had His Back Covered In Lard.

After That, He Went Downhill Fast.


24. “I’m Sorry” And “I Apologize” Mean The Same Thing.

Except At A Funeral.


25. What Did Kermit The Frog Say At Jim Henson’s Funeral?




26. What’s Red And Bad For Your Teeth?

A Brick


27. Even People Who Are Good For Nothing Have The Capacity To Bring A Smile To Your Face, For Instance When You Push Them Down The Stairs.


28. So A Guy Is Walking With A Young Boy Into The Woods.

Boy “hey Mister Its Getting Dark Out And I’m Scared” Man “how Do You Think I Feel, I Have To Walk Back Alone”


29. I Called A Suicide Hotline In Iraq.

They Got Excited And Asked If I Could Drive A Truck.


30. Why Was The Leper Hockey Game Cancelled?


There Was A Face Off In The Corner


31. What Is The Hardest Part Of A Vegetable To Eat?

The Wheelchair.


32. What Is Black And Sticks To A Tree?

A Peeping Tom After A Forest Fire.


33. Where Did Lucy Go During The Bombing?



34. I Asked Siri Why I Was Still Single.

She Turned On The Front Camera.


35. My Grief Counsellor Died Just The Other Day.


He Was So Good Though, I Didn’t Care.


36.  Why Don’t Cannibals Eat Clowns?

Because They Taste Funny!


37. What’s Black And Sticks To A Tree?

A Peeping Tom After A Forest Fire.


38. Why Do Orphans Like Playing Tennis?

Because It’s The Only Love They Get.


39. What’s Blue And Doesn’t Fit?

A Dead Epileptic.

(Told This To My Epileptic Dad. He Was Not Amused. Sorry Dad)


40. My Aunt’s Star Sign Was Cancer, So It’s Pretty Ironic How She Died…


She Was Eaten By A Giant Crab.



Similar Posts