Christmas Jokes And Funniest Festive

100 Best Christmas Jokes And Funny One-Liners Making Your Festival Special

6 minutes, 53 seconds Read

Christmas is the season to be merry. Enjoy some moments of fun with your family and share these 100 Best Christmas Jokes, Santa Jokes, And funny one-liners thus making your festival special.


1. What Kind Of Christmas Music Do Elves Like?

Wrap music


2. What Is A Librarians Favorite Christmas Song?

Silent Night


3. What Do You Call A Frozen Elf Hanging From The Ceiling?

An elfcicle!


4. What Kind Of Motorcycle Does Santa Ride?

Holly Davidson.


5. Why Does Santa Go Down The Chimney On Christmas Eve?

Because it ‘soots’ him!


6. What Do Snowmen Call Their Offspring?



7. What Do You Call A Snowman With A Six Pack?

An abdominal snowman


8. How Does A Snowman Get To Work?

By icicle


9. What Did The Peanut Butter Say To The Grape On Christmas?

Tis the season to be jelly!


10. What Do Sheep Say To Shepherds At Christmastime?

Season’s bleatings!


11. What’s Jack Frost’s Favorite Part Of The School Day?

Snow and tell.


12. Why Do Dasher And Dancer Love Coffee?

Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!


13. What Does Santa Say At The Start Of A Race?

Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!


14. How Did The Ornament Get Addicted To Christmas?

He was hooked on trees his whole life.


15. Why Was Santa’s Little Helper Depressed?

Because he had very low elf esteem.


16. What Does The Grinch Do With A Baseball Bat?

Hits a gnome and runs.


17. What Do You Call A Broke Santa Claus?



18. Where Do Snowmen Keep Money?

In a snow bank.


19. What Do You Get When You Cross A Duck With Santa?

A Christmas quacker.


20. What’s Santa’s Favorite Snack Food?

Crisp Pringles.


21. Why Do Mummies Like Christmas So Much?

They’re into all the wrapping.


22. What Do You Call An Elf Wearing Ear Muffs?

Anything you want. He can’t hear you!


23. What Nationality Is Santa Claus?

North Polish.


24. What Do You Call A Blind Reindeer?

I have no eye deer.


25. What Do Wild Animals Sing At Christmastime?

Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way!


26. Why Does Everybody Like Frosty The Snowman?

Because he is so cool!


27. What’s Santa Claus’s Favorite Track & Field Event?

North Pole-vaulting!


28. Why Did Scrooge Keep A Pet Lamb?

Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”


29. Where Do You Find Reindeer?

It depends on where you leave them!


30. Who Is A Christmas Tree’s Favorite Singer?

Spruce Springsteen


31. What Do You Call A Cat On The Beach On Christmas Day?



32. What Do You Call A Snowman That Can Walk?



32. What Do Hip-Hop Artists Do On Christmas?



33. What Do You Call A Frog Hanging From The Ceiling?



34. Why Do Christmas Trees Like The Past So Much?

Because the present’s beneath them.


35. Why Is Santa So Good At Karate?

Cause he’s got a black belt.


36. What Part Of The Body Do You Only See Around Christmas?

The mistletoe.


37. What Do You Sing At An Elf’s Birthday Party?

Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!


38. Why Don’t Crabs Celebrate Christmas?

Because they’re shell-fish.


39. What’s Every Parent’s Favorite Christmas Carol?

Silent Night.


40. What Do Snowmen Eat For Breakfast?

Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.


41. What Did The Dog Breeder Get When She Crossed An Irish Setter With A Pointer At Christmastime?



42. What Do Sheep Say To Each Other At Christmastime?

Merry Christmas to ewe!


43. What Do Sheep Say To Shepherds At Christmastime?

Season’s Bleatings!


44. How Do Sheep Say Merry Christmas In Mexico?

Fleece Navidad!


45. Where Do Mistletoe Go To Become Famous?

Holly wood!


46. What Did One Christmas Light Say To The Other Christmas Light?

You light me up!


47. What Cars Do Elves Drive?

A toyYoda.


48. What’s The Difference Between The Christmas Alphabet And The Ordinary Alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has No-el.


50. What Did One Christmas Cracker Say To The Other Christmas Cracker?

My POP is bigger than yours!


51. What Do You Call An Elf Who Steals Gift Wrap From The Rich And Gives It To The Poor?

Ribbon Hood!


52. Why Is It So Cold At Christmas?

Because it’s in Decembrrrr!


53. What Kind Of Christmas Tree Comes From Hawaii?

“O Tanning Palms”!


54. What Do You Call An Obnoxious Reindeer?



55. What’s The Favourite Christmas Carol Of New Parents?

Silent Night!


56. What Comes At The End Of Christmas Day?

The letter “Y”!


57. What Do Angry Mice Send To Each Other In December?

Cross mouse cards!


58. How Do You Know When Santa’s Around?

You can always sense his presents.


59. What Do You Call An Elf That Can Sing And Dance?



60. What Is Santa’s Primary Language?

North Polish.


61. What Happens To Elves When They Behave Naughty?

Santa gives them the sack.


62. What Kind Of Music Do Elves Listen To?



63. What Is A Snowmans Favorite Breakfast?

Ice Crispies.


64. Why Didn’t The Skeleton Go To The Christmas Party?

He had no-body to go with.


65. What Do Reindeer Say Before They Tell A Joke?

This will sleigh you


66. What Would You Call An Elf Who Just Has Won The Lottery?



67. What Do You Call A Kid Who Doesn’t Believe In Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.


68. Whats The Best Christmas Present?

A broken drum – you can’t beat it.


69. Which Of Santa’s Reindeer Has Bad Manners?



70. Why Did Santa Put A Clock In His Sleigh?

He wanted to see time fly!


71. What Does Santa Suffer From If He Gets Stuck In A Chimney?



72. Why Did The Christmas Tree Go To The Barber?

It needed to be trimmed.


73. What’s Santa’s Favorite Song By The Ramones?

Blitzen-krieg Bop.


74. What Is Santa’s Dogs Name?

Santa Paws!


75. What Falls At The North Pole But Never Gets Hurt?



76. What Never Eats At Christmas Dinner?

The turkey – it’s stuffed.


77. Where Does Santa Stay When He Is On Holiday?

At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.


78. Who Is Santa’s Favorite Singer?

Elf-is Presley.


79. Why Does Santa Have 3 Gardens?

So he can ho-ho-ho.


80. Why Is Santa Kind Of Scared Of Chimneys?

Because he’s so claus-trophobic.


81. What Kind Of Bike Does Santa Claus Ride?

A Holly Davidson.


82. What Nationality Is Santa Claus?

North Polish


83. Why Does Santa Go Down The Chimney?

Because it soots him!


84. Why Did Santa Bring 22 Reindeer To Walmart?

Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe.


85. What Is Santa Claus’ Laundry Detergent Of Choice?



86. Why Did Santa Put A Clock In His Sleigh?

Because he wanted to see time fly!


87. What’s Santa’s Dog’s Name?

Santa Paws!


88. What Do You Get If Santa Goes Down The Chimney When A Fire Is Lit?

Crisp Kringle.


89. What’s Red, White And Blue At Christmas Time?

A sad candy cane!


90. What Did Adam Say On The Day Before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!


91. How Do You Know Santa Claus Is Good At Karate?

He has a black belt!


92. What Do Zombies Eat With Their Christmas Dinner?



93. What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May?

A puddle!


94. Why Does Scrooge Love Reindeer So Much?

Because every single buck is dear to him!


95. What Do You Call Santa’s Little Helpers

Subordinate clauses.


96. What Do You Call A Scary Looking Reindeer?



97. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesn’t Believe In Father Christmas?

A rebel without a Claus.


98. Why Did Santa Get A Parking Ticket Last Christmas Eve?

He was making a special delivery and left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.


99. What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus?



100. Why Do Dasher And Dancer Love Coffee?

Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!


101. What Type Of Cars Do Elves Drive?


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